


all the good

by withoutwords



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Callum "Halfway" Highway, Infidelity, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:49:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24734191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutwords/pseuds/withoutwords
Summary: “I gotta be back for dinner.”Ben doesn’t say anything, but can’t stop the scoff that erupts from him, or the way he suddenly feels anger simmer just below the surface.“What?”“Nothing. Just didn’t think you’d be running off. Feels like you should put some money on the table before you go.”
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 18
Kudos: 138





	all the good

**Author's Note:**

> For two separate prompts at Tumblr wanting 1) AU where the boys are having an affair and 2) bottom!Callum. Hope this worked out for the requestors! 
> 
> Please note: Ben's not deaf in this fic as it's set before the boat would have happened, AND like half of it is sex. Please skip if it doesn't appeal! Xxx

Ben’s lost count of how often they’ve done this now, lost count of how many days, weeks, months it’s been since the first time Callum text him to meet up. Back then it wasn’t like it is now - back then Callum was still pretending he’d rather make Ben disappear than make Ben suck his dick.

Now, Callum texts him to say,

_ flat’s empty, come over, _

Or Ben messages Callum to tell him,

_ having lunch at the car lot until half one _

There’s no games any more, no pretend. Ben spent long enough trying to convince Callum that the closet wasn’t the place for him, that life would get better once he was honest with himself, and honest with the people he loved.

Callum doesn’t want to listen, doesn’t want to believe that Ben knows best. Ben can't blame him. It’s not like his life’s been perfect since his own coming out. He lost Paul, and his dad still hates him, and he’s still living at home with his mum pretending that he sells cars for a living.

He’s not the best poster boy for ‘to thine own self be true’.

“What are we doing here?” Callum asks warily as Ben lets him into the hotel room. It’s 4pm on a Saturday and Callum’s left his wife at home to come and see him.

It feels good.

“Just wanted to get out of Walford.”

“Seriously?”

“Ya didn’t have to come.”

Callum just huffs, yanking his tie loose as he grabs the beer Ben had left on the table for him. Ben’s already lounged on the bed with the football on, dressed down in ratty jeans with an old sweater. He watches Callum toe off his shoes and disappear into the bathroom.

“This game is a joke,” Ben calls out to him, then hears the toilet flush.

“I know, I was listening on my way over,” Callum calls back, coming out and shaking his hands dry. “Why are ya watching? I thought you hated football.”

Ben shrugs. “Nothing else on. Besides, you like it.”

Callum’s expression goes soft, which he turns his face to hide while taking another swig of his drink. Ben smirks to himself, abandoning his own beer on the bedside table and moving to sit at the end of the bed.

“You get out alright?”

“Yeah.” Callum pulls his tie off, eyes still on the television. “Quiet afternoon, Jay basically kicked me out.”

“That’s good.” Callum stands there for another long moment, Ben watching him, until he says, “Hey,” making Callum look at him. “C’mere.”

Callum rolls his eyes, but he does put his can down and move closer to Ben. Their toes kick as he stands in front of him, hands still at his sides as Ben tugs him in a little by his waistband.

He’s slow as he undoes Callum’s button, savouring it as he loosens his shirt from his trousers. It hasn’t been all that long since they saw each other, a few days, a week at the most - but Ben’s missed it. He often misses Callum a lot more than he’s willing to admit.

“Waitin’ all day for this,” he says in a low voice, starting to unbutton Callum’s shirt now, hand flat as it travels up and over Callum’s belly, and chest, and to a nipple. Callum hisses as he twists. “Get my hands on you, my mouth.”

When Ben noses low at Callum’s stomach, Callum’s hand comes up to clench at his head. His shirt’s open and his pants fall to his knees, and Ben takes in the sight of Callum’s cock going hard under the cotton of his briefs. When he presses his mouth to it Callum groans.

“Yeah,” Ben agrees, feeling it shoot down low to his own belly, his dick. He drags Callum’s underwear down, freeing his length and getting a hand around it. Callum thrusts up into the touch, both hands on Ben now, pawing at whatever part of him he can reach. His head and neck and shoulders, dragging through his hair..

Ben licks up Callum’s shaft, taking the head in his mouth and humming into it, making Callum gasp. He works hard to take him deep a few times, and try to get a rhythm going; his hands on Callum’s hips to keep him still.

But after a few short moments, Callum pushes him off. “Wait, wait,” he says, voice breaking as he does. “I don’t wanna - can we slow it down.”

“Okay?” Ben blinks up at him, his cheekbones bright red. 

“Get your clothes off,” Callum tells him, taking his own shirt off and kicking off his crumpled trousers and briefs. Ben’s not about to argue, not when Callum gets like this - pushy, and vocal about what he wants.

Ben watches Callum watch him, throwing his clothes across the room and moving back onto the bed. Callum crowds him against the pillows, brackets him with arms and knees and length; Ben groaning into his fierce kiss and haphazardly wrapping himself around Callum to hold on.

Callum kisses like he’s starving for it, sloppy against Ben’s teeth and chin, biting at his throat. He pushes at Ben, his hard, wet cock teasing at Ben’s own. 

“You wanna fuck me?” Ben asks, panting, pillows already half beneath him and his body ready. Callum’s lips are red raw when he stops to stare at Ben, mouth hanging open like that’s at all surprising. It shouldn’t be, they’ve done it enough times now that they know what the other likes, what they don’t like, how to make it so, so good.

Who’s Ben kidding, it’s always so, so good. 

“Um, no,” Callum tilts his head. “No, can you …”

“What?”

“Can you fuck me this time?” he asks, so fast Ben barely hears it. “I just - I want.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ben agrees, coming up to kiss Callum again. Callum collapses onto one elbow and lets Ben roll him onto his back, makes short, shocky grunting sounds as Ben grazes his teeth into his jaw, his collar, down, down. He writhes beneath Ben, his whole body shivering despite the heat of his skin.

“Ben, can I - I want,”

“Tell me,” Ben says, kissing at Callum’s beautiful cock, running his hands over Callum’s meaty thighs, digging his fingers in. 

“I wanna turn over,”

“Course.”

Ben sits up on his heels and tries not to stop breathing as he watches all the curves and lines and height of Callum roll onto his stomach. He gets onto his elbows and looks at Ben over his shoulder, all the muscles in his back bunching as Ben’s mouth waters. “You gonna get on with it, or?”

“Alright,” Ben scoffs, “Just enjoying the view.”

“Shut up.”

Ben goes over to his bag to grab the lube and condoms, hurrying back onto the bed to crowd in behind Callum. They’ve done this, but not very often - and as much as Ben doesn’t care what they do, so long as they’re here, together, he really fucking loves it.

He loves to see Callum just lie out for him, just take it and enjoy it and not care. Forget everything else.

“Gonna make it good,” Ben promises, painfully hard cock pushed against Callum as he presses kisses to Callum’s back, kisses and kisses down over his arse. “Make you feel so, so good,” he says again, 

“Just get on with it,” Callum protests, voice coming out as a little whine, knees coming up under him. Ben laughs as he grabs the lube, warming some on his fingers and finally entering him. 

“Yeah,” Ben pants as Callum lets out a long, low grunt, arse clenching around Ben’s finger. Ben picks up his pace, getting two fingers in and curling them up and in further, loving the desperate, broken noises Callum’s making.

When Ben gets three fingers into Callum he has to steady himself, gets his mouth on Callum’s skin to take deep breaths. He stretches and curls his fingers, creating more slick, opening him up and getting him ready.

“Ben, come on, come on,” Callum finally cries, pushing back into him.

“Alright, relax,” Ben teases, but his hands are shaking when he gets the condom open and carefully rolls it on.

“Please,” Callum says as Ben grabs firm onto his hip, lining himself up. Ben hushes him, rubbing a hand over his back to soothe him before he slowly enters him, slowly, slowly, getting all the way in.

Callum lets out a deep, amazed sound, pushing back a little and making Ben gasp.

“Yeah, babe,” he says, slowly pumping in a few times, not sure whether the tight, vibrating heat of Callum’s body is better, or the sounds he makes at the feel of Ben inside him. “Yes, you’re good, so good.”

It doesn’t take long until he’s moving faster, head tipped back as he tries to take in all the sensations at once. The way his whole body hums with satisfaction, the sound of their skin slapping together, the wild noises Callum makes, so loud he drops and buries his face in the pillows under him. 

It’s dirty and beautiful all at once, Ben rolling his hips and Callum pressing back, back into him like he can’t get enough. When Ben starts to feel his orgasm creep closer, he crowds down and moves a hand to wrap around Callum’s cock.

They’re perfect, how they move together, and yet so, so imperfect.

How can two people be so close and so far apart all at once.

“Oh, Ben, Ben, I’m gonna,” Callum warns, and Ben tells him to do it, feeling him freeze when he does, spurting all over Ben’s hand.

Ben only has a few more thrusts in him as well, having to hold Callum up when he collapses beneath him, pushing and pushing and getting there at last, not able to control the loud guttural sounds he makes as he comes.

He’s spent, collapsing next to Callum, worn out and sticky and his heart beating so hard he feels like it’s trying to explode out of his chest. It takes him a long time to find the energy to get the condom off and get rid of it, to get a cloth to wipe himself down.

When he gets to Callum he’s spread eagle on the bed and Ben goes to sit beside him, gently wipe him down.

“Don’t,” Callum grunts, pulling the cloth off Ben to do it himself. 

Ben pushes down the hurt. “Grumpy for someone who just had sex.”

“I can do it,” is Callum’s explanation, getting off the bed to get rid of it. Ben lies down and watches him go into the bathroom, watches him come back and grab a bottle of water. Watches him stroll back toward the bed, slow and pliant, his now soft dick swinging in front of him.

Ben watches Callum a lot, he realises. When they’re together, and when they’re not. Across the Vic when he’s with Whit and the Carters having dinner. In the cafe when he’s with his wife and brother and sister in law, all laughing together over breakfast like some happy family.

In the street, when they spot each other and Callum hovers in one spot for a moment before quickly changing direction.

Ben watches a lot, like he is right now. His hands itch to reach out, ache to touch. 

“What’re you doing?” Ben asks when Callum starts putting on his briefs.

“Getting dressed,” he says, shaking hair out of his face. He wastes no time grabbing the rest of his clothes either, and Ben sits up a little, confused.

“What for?”

“I gotta be back for dinner.”

Ben doesn’t say anything, but can’t stop the scoff that erupts from him, or the way he suddenly feels anger simmer just below the surface.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just didn’t think you’d be running off. Feels like you should put some money on the table before you go.”

“Ben,” Callum protests, pulling a face as his shirt goes on. 

“Well don’t be all sensitive now,” Ben says, going to get his own drink of water and definitely not watching Callum finish getting dressed.

“I’m not, but you know I have to … “ Callum’s voice trails off.

“Go back to your real life.”

There’s an almost silent pause before Callum speaks again, Ben chugging down his water trying to ignore the fact he’s digging himself a hole he doesn’t know how to get out of. “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” Ben tries to sound mocking, rather than upset. He’s not sure it works. “Getting annoyed when you come see me and don’t even stay an hour. Whatta they say? Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.”

“Well what were ya expecting?”

“I donno!” Ben says, definitely showing too much emotion now and unable to stop it. “Dinner, maybe. Round two. Maybe you could’ve made some excuse and stayed the night and we could go for round three in the morning. Enjoy ourselves, _ I donno _ .”

Ben’s not sure who’s more surprised by his outburst, him or Callum. Callum’s standing in the middle of the room, bare feet and his tie in his hands and Ben’s so suddenly gripped by the thought of him being someplace he belongs, someplace he’s home.

How could he be so stupid.

“Forget about it. Go. I’m gonna grab a shower.”

Ben heads to the bathroom to run the shower, seeing himself in the mirror. He looks the same as he feels, tired and fucked out and more than he’s able to handle right now. He’s naked, and he has Callum’s teeth marks on his throat, but that’s not why he feels so exposed.

“Why’re you doing this?” Callum yells as he comes into the bathroom, making Ben whip around. He still hasn’t got his tie or socks on, and his face is all flushed again.

“I’m not - ”

“I thought it was working, I thought we had something good going, I - ”

“We do, it’s fine, just - ”

“You can’t do this, Ben, don’t do this,” Callum all but pleads, and Ben surges forward, pushing him in the chest. 

“What the fuck am I doing? Huh?”

“It was working,” Callum says, his head half hung, and Ben has no idea what to do with that. He’d been lying to himself, he knew, and yeah, they’d probably been lying to each other, but … had Callum been lying to himself too? About Ben?

“I ain’t asking for … I’m not gonna force you to do anything, Callum.” Callum lifts his head enough to glance at Ben, and look away. “I just thought we could make the most of our time, y’know? Just … I donno, make the most of it.”

The words,  _ get to know each other better _ , sit at the tip of Ben’s tongue. He’s too afraid to say them.

“I don’t know how to,” Callum starts to say, then shakes his head and wipes his hand over his face. “I donno what I’m doing.”

Ben moves in close again, close enough that he can pull at the bottom of Callum’s shirt where it’s not tucked in. “Ya don’t have to. Not right now.”

“No,” Callum says, and it sounds like it’s come from somewhere deep. He pushes Ben backwards until his arse hits the sink, hands firm at Ben’s waist. “I know what I’m doing when I’m with you. It’s everything else. It’s … I donno who I am. I don’t know what to be.”

Ben pulls him down a little by his collar, to kiss him, opens his mouth and takes it slow. Callum tries to lift him onto the bench, so Ben helps; jumping up and wrapping his legs around Callum to pull them close, chest to chest.

“Ben, I can’t,” Callum says breathily, ending the kiss and pressing his forehead to Ben’s. “It’s too much, we can’t …”

“We can, we’re doing it right now,” Ben reminds him, kissing him quickly again.

“Whitney …” Callum starts to say, so quietly, and Ben’s heart almost stops right there.

“She’ll survive without ya for one night,” Ben says, lifting Callum’s head to look him in the eye. He runs his thumb over the shadow of Callum’s beard, drags it down over his chin and down his throat. “I have to do it all the time.”

The way Callum looks at him, Ben knows he’s given himself away.

But for the first time in days, weeks, months, he doesn’t care.

Callum might not be ready to come out, and Ben might not be the best person to help him when he does. But he gets this, and maybe a little bit more, and he’s a stupid man - he’ll take whatever he can get.

“Stay?”

Callum gives him the smallest of nods, but it’s enough.

Ben’s always watching closely, anyway.

They kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> thefancyspin.tumblr.com


End file.
